Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Unless you’re John Boehner.
On Monday, Speaker of the House John Boehner sent out a tweet about a man who claimed Obamacare wouldn’t cover his baby.
That would be terrible—if it were true. Turns out the man, a failed conservative political candidate, forgot to put his toddler on the application and never bothered to fix it.
Boehner knew the story wasn’t true and created a media frenzy about it anyway.
Days later, Boehner has yet to take the message down. His 78 assistants have yet to issue a statement correcting the record.
Here’s what I don’t understand: if the Affordable Care Act is such a giant disaster that’s bad for everyone, why do Republicans keep making things up about it, trying to confuse Americans what it does and doesn’t do, and lying at every opportunity about it? If it’s as bad as they say it is, shouldn’t the truth be enough?
I’m going to assume this has happened to anyone who’s ever cuddled anyone and has a penis.
Source (find the exact comic yourself; at least I linked you to the webpage)
no, no, dont do this, please, if you are cuddling w/ me your boner is like a compliment and i welcome you to grind that shit into the back of my legs
If I’m cuddling you and you don’t eventually pop a boner, I’m gonna take that personally.